I feel your heart beat while you’re sleeping.
I see your chest rise and fall.
Flesh and blood,
And now, for once, I want it all.
I want what I have never wanted before.
I want the fear to crowd into my throat
and threaten to choke me with my own tongue.
I want the knot in my stomach
to gnaw my skin from the inside out.
For once, I want to be afraid.
I want to sleep with one eye open.
I want to worry
and wring my hands in desperation.
I want to pace the floor
and pray on bended knees.
For once, I want to be scared
out of my cotton-picking mind.
I want to develop the hearing of a wolf
and the eyes of an eagle.
I want the thick skin of a rhino
and the tender soul of a newborn.
For once, I want to be free
while I’m bound and gagged.
Go on, frighten me, why don’t you?
For once, I want to know what fear is.
I want to be loved and I want to love in return.