Today, October 2, 2013

Today I had another one of those moments that I’m trying to figure out why I’m having.  I went into a store, where thankfully they know me, and was asked to fill out my usual slip of paper, name, address, phone number and signature.  First I wrote my address where they wanted the phone number.  Then I wrote my name where they wanted my city and my city where they wanted my address, and then I signed my name on the zip code line and put my phone number on the signature line.

Absolutely not one of my answers was correct, or even close.  I completely messed it up and I asked if I could start over and they thought I was silly.  But it isn’t silly to me…not filling out a simple form correctly isn’t silly to me.  I have a medical job.  What if I’m typing stuff on a patient’s permanent record that isn’t true?  How will I know if I am or not?

Maybe it started the other day, whatever this is.  At the bank, I couldn’t remember my account number.  I had all the digits correct but in a different order.  Three times the guy asked me; three times I couldn’t get it right.  Finally I asked him if I could use my social security number and I got it wrong.  I was almost in tears by then and finally he just asked me all those random questions they ask…and thank God I knew those answers.  It was such a fucked up moment in time.   And now today.

What is happening to me?


12 thoughts on “Today, October 2, 2013

      • Thanks, doll. I’m rather used to being in control, especially of my own inner feelings. (I knew within a few days that I was pregnant; I could feel it.) What then is this that sneak attacks me, leaves me feeling vulnerable? Scares me, to my core.

      • I wish I could help you figure it out. What I can offer is for you to write me an email and I’ll pass it on to my ex who I live with, she’s a Dr and perhaps can advise you on next steps.

      • Oh I’ve worked medical for 21 years…I know what I should do. I think I’m from a family of deniers (is that a word?). It’s really finding the time and the money at the same time. I’m waiting to see if I’ll get crazier. 😛 Yes, just being flip at the moment. Far too serious stuff for 4:54 AM. 😉 But I do hear you, honest I do. And thanks for caring. Big, big, BIG HUGS.

      • Whew. I tend to over-analyze just about everything. 😛 My gf and I are not only on different pages for almost every conversation, we are in entirely different books. For most any given conversation we have, I am in Dr. Seuss and she is in Tolstoy. 😀

      • I can relate to over analysing but we know it’s not healthy. Both authors are good. Is that what is on your mind?

  1. No, not really. Life will be what it will be. I’m not sure I’m a participant. I see myself as more of an enabler, or an innocent bystander. But yet again your words incite me to think. Thank you for that.

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