The Meanest Thing I ever Did without Trying to be Mean

The Meanest Thing I ever Did without Trying to be Mean.

The year was early 1994.  I had my first medical job in a medium sized clinic, with about a dozen transcriptionists.  One of them went through the Thursday paper with an eagle eye, looking for a man in the personals section.  I started going through them as well, just for fun.  I found one, from a woman, seeking a man.  I know I’m not a man.  She did not.  I told her the truth about everything else in my life except my gender, thinking, foolishly, that she would not care.

I wrote every single day, and came home every single day to a letter from her.  She found me funny, charming and did not want to meet right away.  She was slightly overweight and thought I would not find her attractive.  She had a daughter, I had a daughter; we exchanged photos of them and then sent the photos back to each other with the return mail.

One day her letter to me said, “Georg, I think I’m falling in love with you.  I know we haven’t met but you’re everything I’m looking for in a man.”

I wrote back, “Well, my friends call me Georg but that isn’t actually my name.  It’s ________”.   She wrote back, “I don’t understand.”

My next letter must have broken her heart.  “I’m a woman.  I was hoping it would not matter to you as I’m still the same person.”  She sent back nothing.  No more letters came.  I sent flowers to the address.  Still nothing.  I sent apology notes.  Nothing.  I drove to the return address and found the apartment empty.

End of story.  I would like to say that she sent me a letter, forgiving me, but that would be fiction and this blog is about the truth.

Dear lady whose name I no longer remember, I am so sorry I hurt you, so very very sorry.  I was young, I didn’t know I would hurt you like I did.  I still believe I’m as good as any man you could ever have found.  All my best, Georg.

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8 thoughts on “The Meanest Thing I ever Did without Trying to be Mean

    • Probably not. UGH. Probably thought if I lied about one thing, I lied about it all, then felt foolish, vulnerable. UGH. And it’s a good possibility it took her a long time to trust anyone again. Why that misadventure even popped into my head this morning is anyone’s guess.

      • It was a good story for you to tell. We all learn very valuable lesson but not all of us are brave enough to share them. They are very fitting for others and eye opening as they help them to look at their actions and behavior in a new light and they gain wisdom they never see coming with creates a great sense of compassion and love. I enjoyed your post.

  1. Guess hindsight usually leaves us with 20/20 vision but I am sure you learnt a valuable lesson – even though it probably hurt much more than you originally planned. Thanks for sharing.

    • So very true. Although many times, when someone says to me, You’re a good person…my mind returns instantly to that woman and I wonder if they would still think the same thing if they knew me inside out.

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