I want to be out of here by January 1st. Where to? I don’t care. I want to buy a motorhome and drive the United States coastline. That’s my first wish. My second would be a little one bedroom in Chapel Hill where I could walk everywhere, work quietly and love intensely the way we used to when I lived in Chapel Hill. We just aren’t us here. I miss us. We had so much fun. I miss fun. Anyway, a motorhome is our first choice but we have to live in the one bedroom to save the money to buy the motorhome. Ah now my grand plan comes into play, huh. Yeah, just a few bumps to conquer. First the daughter needs to find a place to live. Something which will be impossible seeing as she is saving no money towards that end and her mother insists that she ‘won’t put her out’. I do understand. I just want my life back. I wish she understood loss the way I do. She does, don’t get me wrong; she’s lost a baby and parents so why do I think I feel it more intensely? I’m not sure but I hurt and I live with the reality that today is a gift; she takes it all for granted. “We’ll do this one day.” What if one day doesn’t come? What if today is the day to do it?
Anyway that’s my grand plan. Tips, advice, anything, anybody?