John:  I just saw a pic of Jesus holding a child. But if that photograph were taken today it would be just an older bearded man, in a robe, holding your child, and he would catch a beating or worse.
John:  I’m not saying Jesus was a pedophile.  And please do not forward this to the proper authorities.  I’m just pointing out facts.
Mary:  Unless he’s Santa.
John:  Christ, do you think they were a team?
Mary:  Think?
John:  It makes sense now – Jesus’ birthday / the only day Santa ‘works’.  Millions of kids revering them both.  God, it’s so obvious now.
Mary:  Odd. I need coffee.
John:  “Candy, little girl?”  “Who wants a toy?  Come sit on my lap”.  Holy crap!  I’ll get us both a cup.  *sigh*

{Boy, I’m gonna catch Hell for this one, huh? wink-wink…get it? Catch Hell?  hahahahahahahahahahaha}