Bare Hearts…

Let’s run away tonight
I see your golden eyes peeking.
I kiss your thumb
It tastes like guitar strings,
even miles away from music.
I want to be a part of you.
In the starlight, you look so beautiful.
I’m glad I came here.
And I’m glad I know you,
with your sly hands and fresh smell.
I wake up in your arms.
and I want to bathe with you in the mornings
But I only watch instead.
And sometimes I whisper, you win.
Can life get any better?
As you open my shirt,
hands on my breasts,
and I explode inside,
again and again.


Warm beverage for lovers…



  • 1 cup whole milk
  • 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons Nutella
  • 1/2 cup heavy cream
  • 1/4 cup hazelnut liqueur, such as Frangelico
  • 2 tablespoons brandy




  1. Place milk, Nutella, and 2 tablespoons of the cream in a small saucepan over medium heat and whisk until the Nutella has melted and been incorporated.
  2. Reduce the heat to low, add 3 tablespoons of the hazelnut liqueur and the brandy, and stir to combine. Heat until hot (do not boil), then turn off the heat.
  3. Place the remaining 6 tablespoons cream in a medium bowl and whisk until nearly stiff peaks form, about 2 minutes. Add the remaining 1 tablespoon liqueur and whisk until just incorporated. Transfer the hot chocolate to heatproof serving glasses, top with a dollop of whipped cream, and serve.


13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, by Amy Morin, LCSW.

Mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life. Check out these things that mentally strong people don’t do so that you too can become more mentally strong.

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.

3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.

6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.

7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it. However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.

8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.

9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.

10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive. They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.

12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

Mentally strong people don’t feel entitled to things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.

13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.

RIP Chico…

This morning’s air was crisp yet I didn’t wear my jacket, just short sleeves and jeans with tennis shoes.  The trees have been littering the ground for a few weeks now so walking along the path by the lake, I was noisily crunching along, shovel under my arm, box clutched tightly to my chest.  Chico died last night about 10 PM.  Lori held him for a bit, then wrapped him in his blankets and put him in the box.  Earlier in the day there was a cheesecake party with all three of her daughters coming to pay their last respects.  Today is actually Taylor’s birthday but yesterday was for saying goodbye to Chico.

I walked this morning until I found the perfect spot.  The path took a wide turn and in the middle was all grass, with earth soft enough for my shovel to go in.  I dug it fairly deep for a little guy.  The thought of something digging him up makes my heart jump in my chest and my face leaks even now.  I put him in the hole, wrapped in his softest blankets and then put a heavy plastic container down over him so the dirt couldn’t touch him and make him cold.  Then I covered him as quickly as I could, stamping the earth down tight and then I walked the lake shore picking up big stones and completely covering his grave two or three stones deep.  I dare something to move them.

I brought two of the stones home with me so that his mom could have a piece of his final resting place.  I know he’s happy right now, probably full of bacon in his dreams, beside the lake, in the warm sun.  Lots of lady dogs will be walking past him on a daily basis so that should make him smile. 

The first time I met him, he tried to eat me up; then later I gave him two hot dogs and we were okay after that.  Not friendly, but okay.  I might have bitched about him but I’m a lot of bluff and bluster and my heart is breaking right now.  ImageRIP Chico.

7 Weeks Until…

I want to be out of here by January 1st.  Where to?  I don’t care.  I want to buy a motorhome and drive the United States coastline.  That’s my first wish.  My second would be a little one bedroom in Chapel Hill where I could walk everywhere, work quietly and love intensely the way we used to when I lived in Chapel Hill.  We just aren’t us here.  I miss us.  We had so much fun.  I miss fun.  Anyway, a motorhome is our first choice but we have to live in the one bedroom to save the money to buy the motorhome.  Ah now my grand plan comes into play, huh.  Yeah, just a few bumps to conquer.  First the daughter needs to find a place to live.  Something which will be impossible seeing as she is saving no money towards that end and her mother insists that she ‘won’t put her out’.  I do understand.  I just want my life back.  I wish she understood loss the way I do.  She does, don’t get me wrong; she’s lost a baby and parents so why do I think I feel it more intensely?  I’m not sure but I hurt and I live with the reality that today is a gift; she takes it all for granted.  “We’ll do this one day.”  What if one day doesn’t come?  What if today is the day to do it? 

Anyway that’s my grand plan.  Tips, advice, anything, anybody?

The Little Dog Who Didn’t Die.

The Little Dog Who Didn’t Die (the continuing saga of Chico, the chihuahua).

Chico, that shaky-legged, coughing fit of an excuse for a dog, lives.

Friday afternoon, we gave him a bath and then I fed him some bacon, warmed his blanket in the dryer and went back to work.  Friday evening we could not find him.  Friday night we called him and we beat on things in the living room (to scare him out of hiding) and nothing.  We assumed he had crawled under the bookcase and died.

We cried.  I consoled.  I cried.  I felt guilty, for it was my idea to bathe him, my idea to give him bacon (we all know that’s a killer) AND I had left the front door wide open for about an hour.  When we couldn’t find him, when he did not come out of hiding, we finally gave up, thinking he is either dead or he’ll come out later.  Later came and went.  No Chico.  My girlfriend cried and cried.  Midnight found me out of bed, back in the living room, searching with a flashlight.  Where OH where could he be?  Nothing.

Saturday morning, 7 AM:  I get up to put in a load of laundry.  I find Chico standing in front of the washer, staring at the back door.  I had two choices: Go tell Lori he was alive or push him outside the door and lock it.  I chose the higher path.  UGH.  I went and told her I had resurrected him and she quit crying.  Stupid higher path.

We swapped stories:  I told her how (in my head) I had picked out a sunny place on the side of a local lake to bury him, near a dog path, where he would be “warm and get to see lots of girl dogs”.  She told me how (in her head) she’d gotten rid of his blankets, threw out his dishes, and took his unopened food back to the store.

I told Chico the next time he hid, he shouldn’t be surprised if we got rid of his stuff.  He sneezed and begged for more bacon.